Ok so plans changed. Going out on monday instead of today. Oh well. I gotta finish up my school stuff. And by the way, this test is true!!

Meaning of your Name

K - You like to try new things.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
M - Success comes easily to you. (I'm not sure about this. Haha.)
I - You are always smiling and making others smile. (I think so! Most times!)
S - You are very broad-minded.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
H - You are not judgmental.

Wanna check yours? Heh. Here:

A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.
F - Everyone loves you.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H - You are not judgmental.
I - You are always smiling and making others smile.
J - Jealously
K - You like to try new things.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
O - You are very open-minded.
P - You are very friendly and understanding.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - You are a social butterfly.
S - You are very broad-minded.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V - You have a very good physique and looks.
W - You like your privacy.
X - You never let people tell you what to do.
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
Z - You're always fighting with someone

I didn't know what to blog about cos i ran out of ideas as soon as i had the intention to do some blogging. And i thought, right, so what was it i wanted to blog about? Haha. Then i told Salwa and she reminded me of incidents that happened and so i got the inspiration to blog once again.

So today was the community service charity thingy at the Old Folks' at Toa Payoh. It was a success. It went on smoothly. It seemed as though they all enjoyed themselves. And i got a chance to converse with a malay old lady. She told me she lived at the studio apartment by herself. Her husband's deceased and she got no kids. Her relatives - she's not close to them. She also doesn't hang out much with the other old folks in the block. She just goes on with life on her own.

She told me about how hard her life is. Like the allowance she gets is not enough for her every month. Her water and power supply bill seems to be costing more than what a single person would use. I was shocked to hear that. She said she did mention it to the higher power people - but you know, nothing happens. SIgh.

There was one part she was telling me about something. It touched my heart in a way that i felt, gawsh, this old lady is going through difficulty similar to what i am going through, and for me its torturing enough, how about her? I felt like tearing down there, haha. Believe it or not. Then shortly after that, the class had to start off the event. So i didn't converse long with her.

Anyway, over with that, start with other things. I've got other homework to do. I got only the weekend left. Last minute again i guess. Oh well. What would you expect? Haha.

Umm, i got other stories to blog about but i'm a bit too lazy. And, oh yeah, my right butt hurts. I almost twisted my ankle today, i tripped, and...hmm. Thats about it. Haha.

And i realise i don't need any EC cos i just don't need any. Haha. Don't ask why. And i don't want any EC. It's just all disappointing. No outcome. So i'm gonna forget about Suan. Heh heh. Say no more, my friends, i've made my mind up. I guess. Heh.

See ya tomorrow, Aisha and Byla!!

Ok, so here i am typing away. But at the same time worried over some other shitloads of stuff.

I haven't completed my holidays assignments and whatever stuff "they" gave us to complete over the "holidays". Plus it's a headache for us organisers for the Old Folks' event happenin this Friday. Everything gotta be last minute. And i got a last minute shocking news from the guy earlier. Sasa almost fainted. Poor Sasa.

We've got the food part kinda settled. But it's the entertainment part that's a bit difficult cos we're now entertaining 80 people, not 20 anymore. So we really need some solid entertainment that would really entertain these folks over at Toa Payoh. Haha. Again, poor Sasa. So i'm gonna help her too if she's gonna need any more extra help over that side.

Ok. So this ending of 2005 have loads and loads of things going on. From physically, to mentally, to emotionally. There's so much going on, i can't really keep track now but to just take it as it comes.

Stupid wartech trip to the newater plant tomorrow. And after that gonna continue my day with BNF project. Hopefully my group can complete it all by tomorrow la. Soo sick and tired of it man.

Then Thursday, i meet Sasa and Li Yun with Salwa. Getting the food stuffs and stuffs. And helping Sasa with the entertainment part.

Then Friday..the event for the Old Folks', part of our compulsory community service. Charity work. So, ok.

Then comes Saturday. Where i will meet my buddies Aisha and Byla! Long time no see babes!! Haha. We each will get something for ourselves. I'm getting myself a new watch. My dad's been bugging me about that. And i got loads of other stuffs to buy but i'm just gonna get the priorities first.

Oops, i just heard some howling. Ok, no, its my imagination.

So seeing that i'm gonna be pretty occupied tomorrow onwards, i'll probably finish up this extra informal report on Sunday. New Year's Day. How perfect. But then again, maybe i can just squeeze it into some of the coming nights. Or tonight. Haha. We'll see how lazy i am.

Well, last Sunday i was at a relative's wedding. The groom is the relative. And its funny how he could still remember me and my name despite the many years that passed without seeing each other, let alone wanna think of one another. But i'm happy he remembered me and know that i was there at his wedding.

Well, i gotta stop here for now. Later!!

Yes, the term tests are over!! Took the last paper earlier this morning. Which was just so freaking shitty. 10-mark questions but the facts weren't there. But its over now and don't wanna think about it anymore.

Yes, the one-week holiday is here. But wait, it ain't no holiday. There's so many things for me to complete in this one festive week that i'd rather not call it a holiday. Its like school but you're doing it all at home.

Ok, so what's been up lately? Nothing much really. Just that i miss going out and stuff. And tomorrow i'm meeting some friends to go out.

But right now, i'm feeling kinda sick. hopefully i'll be all ok tmorrow.

Umm, at the moment i don't really have anything in mind to story. Perhaps after tomorrow or something. Haha. See ya.

So last night was emo for me. Well, shit happens but i had to let it out. I feel better now that i've let it out. I wasn't asking for sympathy or anything yeah.

This morning i woke up early cos i wanted to finish up the four journals i'm supposed to hand in by tomorrow. Sickening shit. I was doing last night too but i'm still not done. And then when i'm done here, i'll be going back to studying. 2 papers down, 5 more papers to go. Yeah, a lot, very sickening. Talk about sickening, my throat doesn't feel too good. Like it's gonna get sick. Oh well.

I will ensure you, who reads my blog, (thank you), that i will give an update on my blog after my term tests are over. Got so much to story but just that i can't remember all at one time.

Oh, and my nephew fractured his little arm from falling off a bicycle. How? I don't know. Not sure how bad the fall was. And he didn't need any operation to fix the broken bone back. Thank God. And my sis could still tell me his arm is swollen and green in colour. Oh man.

My bro's not back yet. That's how he works on saturday nights. He comes back the next morning. Oh well. That's his problem.

Right, so i shall continue on with my journals. Got a lot to do today. Good luck to all my friends who are having their term tests!! Byla, Aisha, Leen, Huiling, Ira, miss u gals!

Tonight i have the inspiration to blog. Because i am, once again, at that point of time when i feel like just bursting to pieces so that i won't have to go through anymore of all that's going on.

I've done two out of seven of my papers for the term tests. So i'll be studying like a freak this coming week. Oh well.

Its 2316hrs. My bro's working. I got the computer to myself now. If not, i was kinda pissed that he won't let me use until he gets out. I mean, what he did was watch movies or dvds on the computer while i wait for him to finish to use, to do my school work. I'm like, come on man. For once, look at me and for once don't see through me. Treat me like you would to your very own sister.

I'm feeling down tonight. I was fine during the day. But as i got home, things went back to the dark. Its always like that. Just that during school days i shut these things out so that they don't dsturb me when i wanna concentrate on my school work.

I come home and i gotta search for my pet turtle. Someone let him out, and no one wants to put him back in his basket. So it's me who has to get on the floor, searching like i just found out i lost my sibling. And my turtle always, always hides in weird, enclosed areas. So hidden that i'd be so worried by the time i finally got to him.

And i think my turtle knows. That he feels guilty. Cos i put him back in his basket and gave him some beans. He hasn't eaten the whole day. And when i got near to him, he closed his eyes, as if he's sleeping. But as soon as i sit far enough for him to think i'm gone, he'd start munching again on his beans. Its like he didn't want me to know that he's hungry just because he stayed out and hid for so long. Nevertheless, i still love him like my own little brother.

Ok, so besides looking for my turtle, i gotta tolerate the filthy cigarette smoke coming from the two men in the family. My bro gets his dinner. My dad wants his dinner and couldn't find a pot, so he got pissed and let it out on me. He'd add on about my brother's irresponsible acts in the family. Which will make me not want to hear anything negative. And then my dad will make these remarks, indirectly at me. And i just have to get to my room before i get even more pissed.

Then there's my sweet lovable mother. She's an angel as usual. But then she starts the complains about my dad during the day, how he'd gotten mad at my bro, how he thought that my bro hasn't been paying the bills and stuff. And its all a misunderstanding. I wanted to say something but if i do, it'll just make things worse.

Then my brother, gawsh, to make him get up the seat off the computer is like pushing a stubborn elephant to get off the road. He just pisses me off.

Then my dad starts all these crap about this and that and this which i am aware of but his repeating it makes me feel more down. I mean, i am aware of mostly what's going on in the family. Its my bro whom he should speak to. Not me. i've had enough.

Sometimes i just wish my dad would see things from my view as well. He doesn't. He thinks i don't care.

 Like the load i have to juggle between hectic school, crazy life, stupid expensive bills, all the bloody nonsense that happens and my dad himself.

Man, does he not think that i care for him? Goodness, i worry about him, alot. I worry about him every single night i come home. I come home hoping he's ok, that he's not lying in bed feeling sicker than usual. Hoping that he'd lit up to see me back. I worry that i might come home to find him feeling unwell, bloated, cough whatever he's vulnerable to. I worry every single time he tells me he's gotta get to the hospital for a checkup to make sure his body's functioning well. And i always, always worry that i don't get to spend enough time with him as he gets older. Because he worries too much about unnecessary stuff which i feel would take him down. And i only see him at night, that too when i'd be busy preparing for school the next day.

I worry mostly about him. And then i worry about the home finance. Like whether my parents have money or not. And if they don't i'd give them my money. I worry about the accumulating freakin bills. And then i put my family before me, results seen usually by my friends nearing the end of the month. When i won't have money to buy food or when i try to budget but they'd be so kind to pay for my food.

What does my bro do? I don't even know! And i can't tell him what to do. To him, i am nothing. No one. He doesn't care whether the load i have to carry is supposedly his. He doesn't care. All he did was comment on it and gone. This is all his responsibility. Its suppose to be him who's worried. But not.

The other time, my dad wanted to show me his insurance file. Death insurance that is. He gets scary sometimes, showing me stuff like this out of the blue. I wished i don't ever have to face that insurance ever but its a fact that one day i'll have to. And that is the day that i am most worried of and scared of.

I feel sad. I feel teary. Nothing can describe what i'm feeling. Not poetry. Not words. Not my tears. Not anyone. Only God knows. Sigh. Thank God for what i already have. And thank God for the heart i have that's strong and patient enough.

Gawsh i'm emo tonight. I feel Poetic Tragedy is appropriate. Can't keep it all in. Don't really know where to go but here. Friends of mine would always say they see me smiling and laughing my ass off. But hey, maybe some of those smiles were my frowns, and some of those laughs were my cries. I'm out for this weekend. Studying. Take care, all.

Right. So here i am, another weekend to update. And yes, Huiling, i actually did lose my "life" when school started. Been busy all week. And last week? I skipped some assignments to do, haha, so that was why i was able to go gigging. This week i'm jam packed. Gotta start my studying!

Yeah, so i did went to Lime Sonic Bang. Got to check out Saw Loser and Stars Dont Fall. Both bands were awesome really. Pictures after this entry ok.

And then the next day i gotta get back to school as per normal. Like how boring. Haha. Thanks Huiling!

Umm, so my term tests are in a week's time. Actually, they start this Saturday. haha. And look at what i'm doing now. Haha. I want a break. A break full of outings, gigs, friends, family and all the fun stuff. Then i would be happy to start school again after term break. Haha. Can someone give me that?

But term break, i got some stuff to do as well. Like there's a field trip to the NEWater plant. Worksheets given, work assessed. And then there's the Christmas Party for the Old Folks' too during that week.

Then life goes on. Sigh. I really can't update much cos this past week had been a really long one. It felt long. Well..and i can't exactly remember much of anything that had happened. Yeah.

Umm, sorry once again, i can't upload the pics in now. It takes time. I'll upload some other time ok? Haha. Gotta go now, peeps! Love u all, my friends! Peace.